So I just returned from a funeral for one of my dear friend’s father. I of course, was running late.
As I dashed into the church with only seconds to spare, the usher directed me to one of the last seats available. Right smack dab next to my ex and his wife.
Are you kidding me? What are the odds? Were there really no other places I could sit?
It’s pretty safe to say the temperature went up about twenty degrees as I started sweating profusely. I’m also pretty sure I saw perspiration on my ex’s forehead as well.
As my friend proceeded down the aisle to take his seat up front – he and his wife did a double-take as they saw our cozy little threesome at the back of the church. I’d like to think we provided him with some levity on this difficult day.
A few years ago, I can assure you that I would have stood up in the back of the church before sitting with my ex and his wife, who then at the time was the awful trophy wife that was trying to steal my son from me (not really, but that was my mindset at that moment).
It’s amazing what time can heal.
After the service – we stood around chit-chatting like this was the most normal thing in the world. One of our mutual friends commented on how impressed she was about how friendly we all were. Oh yes – we are one big happy blended family.
Honey, this did not happen overnight. In fact, it took several years. And even though we are “friendly” – I’m not looking to vacation together anytime soon. (Although I’m thinking that would make a great reality show…)
However, I am very grateful that we have reached this point. My ex and I have a son – so we are pretty much stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. So, might as well suck it up and play nice. (And I will note in an act of full disclosure, that the issues have always been with me…my ex has always been willing to play nice. He’s a good guy that way.)
One of the themes at the funeral happened to be reconciliation. As I listened to the words (in between praying that I remembered to put on deodorant and wiping my puddles of sweat off the seat), I was reminded once again that life is short. Forgiveness is a great thing. Letting go of past hurts, insecurities and jealousy can do wonders to heal your heart.
And while this is still a work in progress for me – I think of my precious little 7 year-old boy who has the love and support of two families.
It’s definitely worth a puddle of sweat.
Marnie Fernandez is an official kid wrangler of four and a professional laundress. When not chasing kids, she is a blogger and freelance writer who writes about her misadventures of mommyhood in a blended family in Oklahoma.